love
When I was younger, it was drilled into me by society that I would never be fulfilled until I had a boyfriend. So, naturally, for most of my secondary school years, I have chased that feeling of love, without knowing what it looks like or what it feels like. Because of this way of thinking, I have lowered myself and my standards for lesser men, ones that seem as though they love me at first but ultimately break up with me at the first bump in the road. Now, after all of these failed relationships, I became so insecure in myself and began to wonder if I was the problem. I chased that feeling of romantic love even more desperately as more and more of my friends got boyfriends. I was suddenly surrounded by people who were fulfilled in a way that I craved. I was so jealous and upset, I felt like I wasn’t worthy of that love. I stopped going out, I stopped eating, I stopped feeling like a person. I felt that everyone around me hated me and maybe it would be better for all of us if I di...